WHY

do I even bother?

Tell me why.

Why. Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel sad?

Why am I happy? When I'm falling apart?

You keep me whole, but I don't deserve you.

I'm falling apart. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to put up with my shit...

Yet I don't want to lose you. 

April 23.

Mmm. Hi England. <3 xDD

I'm losing my mind, it feels like I'm losing you too
Well I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you
My sunshine, my light, my life.
I'm just lucky that today I've got the chance to say hello
And I was, scared, I was alone and I was feeling a little low
and you said "will you be mine?"

I'm yours forever and always, been yours from the start
Don't even care how many miles we are apart
I just want to hold you close, want to tell you how I feel
that I love you, forevermore, and I'm wishing this is real
I hope it isn't just a dream, I hope I'm really yours 'til the end of time
'cause baby I'm yours and you are mine~ <3

I'm like a porcelain doll, forced to smile but broken
Then you came along, my heart, only you can mend
The song in my life, the best part of this movie
I just hope it never ends, the story of you and me.

I'm still looking for the perfect tune for this... err, thing. xD But, yeah. It's... y'know, still unfinished just like all the other shite in here. xDD So, err, yeah. <3 :)

The little things

One message, one awkward little smile
Well, darling, I've known you for a while
But hey, it's like I've known you all these years
You make me smile and you take away these tears

Well, I'm scared to tell you the little things
About the sunshine and rainbows your smile brings
When I know you're there, I feel like I'm in heaven
Well, I love you more than you'll ever know
But I'm really scared to let it show
So tell me, when can I see you again?

THE TRUTH.

She feels abandoned. I feel abandoned.

Seychelles* and Belarus*... poof. They're gone. I don't even know how to feel... Wait, I do. I feel like shit. And after months, I haven't said a thing. Well, hello there, new life. New people. Now I have Austria* and Prussia*.

I still miss Seychelles and Belarus, though. i mean... ugh. WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?

A) Austria feels abandoned, I won't leave her.
B) Everyday, Austria, Prussia and I, we chat, thing is-- I cannot relate to them. It's like... ugh. I love them both but they have their own little world together. I can't just waltz in there as though I've been part of it all along
C) England* is loved. I LOVE ENGLAND*. HAHAHAHAHA. BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
D) Italy*, Y U NO CALL? Y U NO TEXT? Y U NO TALK TO ME? You're just leaving me like I'm... trash.

Alright. Bye. I'm over it.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND + New song (unfinished)

I honestly just want to insert a keyboard smash here. No, seriously.
I've been laughing and crying all day with two people close to my heart. Me ol' jam tart.
The one that's breaking. Yes. My heart is breaking. I kid you not. Anyway, new song, so, uh... yeah. Made this long ago... never bothered to finish it.

You, and your stupid moronic ways
Hey, what kind of a friend betrays?
Don't think that you're invincible when you're not
I'm not either, but, darling, take your shot

I don't need, I don't need, I don't need another b*tch
In my life, in my life, or another f*gly witch
You can go, you can go to hell-oh, pick up the phone

I know it's mean. Shoot me.

That silly song of ours was never meant for the radio

so, Grasha and I were on the phone last Thursday for more than 3 bloody hours. it was quite wonderful, really, considering that I've been isolating myself these days... anyway, some few months ago, I composed a little piano piece out of boredom, a little something for Austria and Hungary (although I'm a PruHun girl). so, we made the lyrics. Other than that... well, I told her not to cut the line and we'd just let it die on its own... We fell asleep with phones by our ears, but before closing my eyes, I whispered to the phone the little things I never told her. anyway, i'll post the lyrics soon, when it's done' ;)